i like(d) a boy

ughh it makes me mad when people dont see how special they are when in reality, they mean more than they ever knew to me

and when u tell them how special they are and like them so much , they just sit, or sat there and did nothing

so i told myself to blow it off. let it go. dont hold on to something that is too hard to achieve

yet im an overachiever, thats just who i am

i always have what i dont want, and when i lose what i have, i want it back

cause i always want what i cant have. i always fall for that bad boy immage or the exact opposite of it. i always go for opposites

and the last time i did, life screwed me over. because im an overachiever

i always go the extra step, always make straight As, and always keep who i care for the most inside of me...till this summer

i still went the extra step, still made straight As, but didnt keep who i liked inside of me. no not this time. i let it out, and in one way it was good, but in the other way, it sucked. no matter where i went, whether it was half way across the world or just to my room, i couldnt stop thinkin about him until i  met him face to face, confronted him face to face, and supposedly resolved the fact that things just wouldnt work out between us. too many complications, too many feelings. so i tried to get over it

and until last weekend, i was fine, lyin to myself  the entire time. but now, when he doesnt see how special he is, and he really is one of the most amazin ppl in the world to me, i know i cant take it anymore. i cant hide it anymore. i just cant. and hopefully this time, there wont be so many complications.

aHHH today was amazin

i didnt go to khane but went and saw FLYBOYS with my girls-- man i have a new appreciation for pilots

and i must say

JAMES FRANCO  IS ABOSOLUTELY GORGEOUS  i dont care  how old he is

yeaa

soo today in school BPE was fun cause we got to watch all the dude play football--- fun stuff!!! i found me a new friend hey heyy

physics- my cal messed up so it screwed me over but whatever....schools important but its not the only thing in life

calc- AHH i didnt do my hw and i DIDNT have to....same in AP US HISTORY

so after seeing like one of the greatest movies of all time. aka FLYBOYS. i have decided that im tired of likin the guy that i like cause he doesnt do nethin. by watchin that movie, it made me realize that u dont know if u are gonna wake up tmrw, whether ull live another day, or whether u regret not doing something or telling someone how u feel. so ive decided that imma just go with the flow....live life as it comes,, and live it to the fullest. and if a mini me of james franco seems to pop up somewhere......good lord have mercy.

 ahh good day...man i sometimes wish i lived in europe, or newhere else but in the US or like poverty/war countries. cause i like the cultural difference and the personalities of the ppl.  ahh i love portuguese ppl. and i like italians. and mann...the list goes on and on and on for the british "bloaks"

i like high school. imma love college. party and fun and studyin here and there,

~ciao senoritaa

Currently Listening Sexy Love Pt.2 By Ne-Yo see related

and i pray to god he hears me...

so today at REC we were talkin about all these things and how ppl need to have a balance between spiritual and material life. and even though we all say that, we ALL ALWAYS let our material life take over our spiritual. like all the time, we live for our material life. but then again, we see IMMEDIATE results in our material life, but what about the long term results that can only be achieved through spiritually enligthening ourselfs? this made me think that even thou in the short term , everythin might seem good, its gonna screw u over in the long term, so its better to just balance and ull be rewarded in the long term  - somethin that i can relate with.

some time ago, there was a boy that was very special to me. special meaning good friend, and was in the "friend" zone (like in JUST FRIENDS). and for the longest time, thats how it was, and thats how it would stay. but then i guess i was becomin more and more "materialistic" and even though he would always stay my friend in the long term, i wanted a short term result. i wanted to put the word "boy" infront of the phrase "friends" zone. so for a while, all i did was think about that, act upon that, pray for that. to my immediate dismay- that boy decided it was best to be just friends.

at first i was appauled, frustrated, and wonderin why God screwed me over. but then i stopped n thought. maybe he did this cause he knew that it was better to have a long term friendship than a short term relationship. God has a way of workin his messages through life, even when we are blind to them at first.

so now, this boy is back in the "friends" zone, and i guess that is how it should be, how it was meant to be. if there is more to it, than its in the hands of God. all i know is, theres a lot to be learned, and it is all laying in front of our eyes. It's just time for us to open them.

oh my goodness gracious i have like no patience for people who ask the stupidest questions

so in physics my teacher goes over the directions for an assignment, gives out the assignment that has directions STEP by STEP..verbatum....a monkey could follow it. but then, the four people in my group ask ME the SAME question thats ON the direction sheet in like black and white, and i already answered this question like twice...and the stupid morons ask the question again. gosh i have no patience for that. and the thing is, its a project grade, and im tired of doin all the work

so at home, my parents yell at me likes a part of their daily diet. if they dont yell, then they have a yearning for yelling more tmrw, until it all builds up, and then they snap at us for no reason, tell us were not supposed to stand up in what we believe in, tell us we do nothin but sit in a chair for 8hrs at school, and expect us to live in the 1950's like they did.

u know what i think.... i say take a parent, pull a "Freaky Friday" and i bet that they wont make it to a "freaky saturday" cause theyre ignorant, selfish, egotistic people that use sarcasim in the wrong way and don't know what AMERICA in the 21st CENTRUY means.

makes me mad

makes me wanna just leave GA now and go as far away from home as possible. im tired of this bull crap. tired of the ignorance, tired of parents yelling, tired of people only seeing one side of the story, tired of hypocritical people. tired of society.

update...hey heyy'

gosh i havent used this thing in forever

but after seeing someone elses (whos gonna reamain nameless), i realized that its not about how many comment or leave props or ne of that stuff like on myspace(which i use liek crazy) but its just about leting it out to like vent and not get so frustrated all the time.

kk so summer was amazin ( the second half) cause i went to taiwan and NEVER in my entire life have i felt so loved and welcomed..not even at alummah. like over there, u may not speak the same language, but everyone smiles in the same language. and most of all...everyone laughs and LOVES in the same language. gosh the guys ther= amazin. polite, kind, sweet, and you can say some of the most random things and even if they dont get it, they dont care cause its just about being in the same vicinity as you that makes a smile come across their face and a warm feelig glow in their hearts. miss it so much

back home- after summer was over, i was hoping for some changes to happen, and i put in my hald of the share, yet i guess god didnt see it was necessarry to put in his half. i was always told that if u put in ur half, he'll put in his. no.. its not true all the tiem now.

school- pretty crazy schedule. ap calc, ap us history, honorsphysics, and BPE. love all my friends that i hung out with last year, but not this one flippin girl in my US HISTORY class. shes the most annoying lil creature invented and gosh i hate her guts. she makes me wanna just like punch her face cause she thinks shes cute and all but shes a gahhh  witch.

girls- i love love love love my school friends cause theyre allways there to like just chill and party and hang out. gosh i love that part about high school. my khane friends are alright- lotta two faced ppl that i  cant stand to be around but im too nice to like just give em a reality check. i love love naureen jooma and her family thou..amazin ppl that i dont know what i  would do  if i didnt know all of em.

guys- man im so tired of guys not pickin up on the obvious stuff ..like extra phone calls and texts and even if u tell em straight up how u feel ...they still dont get it. theyre like 16 to 21 years old and they STILL have PMS..permanent male  stupidity. theyres like 5 max that get it...and theyre either too far away or taken. ughh i wish one of em ...a certain one of em..would just stop delayin and realize that in two years.. theres not gonna be a chance in heck that theyre ever gonna have the same opportunity that they have now , and id rather just say to take advantage of the opportunities that come knockin on ur door. and if u dont know if  a girl likes u or not, look for hints and extra flirty comments and when in dount, ask. trust me, it doesnt hurt to ask..but it hurts to just let it fly by.

music- gosh i love music more than most... it makes my world go round. my music buddy.KARIM!!! always gots the best tunes ever, and lovely car :). mann i love the song CHASING CARS  and how theyres a line thats like " IF I LAY HERE ...IF I JUST LAY HERE...WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME AND JUST FORGET THE WORLD"  and i love the music from STEP UP and ahh the dancing and the violin in the background.

misc.- Naureen and Asifs bday is comin up very very soon...aug 29..tuesday...party!! gosh ive known naureen since i was like 5 and we iddnt get along at first, and then we did, and then we didnt, and now we do so its been quite a trip. Asif - man i dont even know HOW i met that kid but sure glad i did. never have i seen someone laugh so much over the  most random things. man " hes a gee..fa sho" ...in his language. good time good times

i wanna see the bodies exhibit ..anyone up to goin? holla

~Sabena